Delta of Venus

My book arrived today.
it was sitting in the mail box, in a plain white bubble wrap bag. the Cover is beautiful. I hadn't seen the cover when i brought it on line. so it was a pleasant surprise. i love the blue tone to it. I've only read the first story and half of the second but i love the way she writes. i didn't know much about Anais Nin when i brought the book, but reading her style of writing as well as the Preface and Prologue, makes me feel like i know a bit about her, while going blind and headfirst into the erotic tales written on the pages.
I've always been slightly interested in the whole idea of erotic writing. Not reading ,much however until i moved out. I hate the type which glorify things like rape, bestiality, incest, because well... personally i think all three of those topics do not deserve praise or glorfication. even in fiction writing. (to be honest I've never actually read anything which involves the theme of beastalty... and i don't intend to)
What i do enjoy about it is the poetry of it.
When a good erotic writer makes you forget about the real world, and fall into the image she/he creates on the pages.
one that actually turns you on is also an important part too.
but mainly the poetry of it all.
I've tried to write it once or twice.
it didn't go very well.
I've written a R rated poem or two. which is different than writing a fiction story. I suppose what i need to do, is take my poetic aspect of my writing, focus on the sex/ seduction side and just let it flow.
i think i need more outrageous sexual experiences...
not that I'm complaining with what I've got. ... :P
but i mean, sexual encounters in castles, and erotic goings on in exotic locations.
another excuse to travel... :P
Anyway I'm off to read some more.
I'm terrible when i get a new book i have to read the whole thing.
its like chocolate or cake.
i can't savor a tiny piece.
i end up eating it all.

X's and Os'
Vanessa

**all in all... life is random**

Traveling Mag #3 is sitting on my couch. wrapped. Stamped and waiting to get the a-ok to be sent out into the world
I booked tickets to POTC 3. saturday night. Mega screen. best (well as best as i could get) seats in the house
i ordered my 1st ever erotic novel online. recommened (in passing) by a Open Diary friend of mine.
i've tried writing erotica before, its never got very far. i've written a few R rated poems. but its not the same as a good old classy erotic story.
Randomness from my mind... below. enjoy. ignore. either. or. both

Eyelashes

i woke up to sunshine pouring on my face
who knew such an amount could sneak through the tiny gap in the curtains
if i half closed my eyes i could see all my eyelashes. big. like looking through a magnifie glass at a blade of grass it was really neat. they sort of sparkled. in that moment i held great apreciatation for my eyelashes. whom i don't really take much notice off, except to stab them with a mascara brush every so often. or curse when one excapes and gets into my eye

The kiwifruit on the windowsill,

I was walking to work yesterday and noticed sitting alone on a windowsill on the outside of a shop, a perfectly formed kiwifruit. it wasn't rotton, or eaten. it was just sitting. in the right hand corner below a window that said "Victorias Salon" I found it quite cool. it was just so random, and me being the Vanessa that i am, notice weird random things

Leaves on the Ground

I can't help but see them and kick them! jump and make them crack and break under my doc martains. its like the thrill of jumping in puddles i have! Autumn is the best time of year for this of course, exspecially on the route i walk from work to the supermarket to grab things for tea. But near the university theres a road that is lined with huge giant oak (i think they are oak i'm not sure) trees, the grow so high and streach across the road with there brances that it seems like a canopy covering the street, but they tend to loose there leaves all year round (or its just leaves from autumn that stay on the ground maybe) so if i'm in need of a leaf jumping fix in spring, i can always walk down that street :)

The Ivy Building

The Ivy building at the top of my street, i think i've mentioned it in a previous entry but i can notice the seasons change from looking at that building. its getting really bare. the Ivy is dying and falling away, going from top to bottom. there is hardly any green leaves left. I say above i like to jump in dead leaves, but it makes me sad in a way that they have to die and fall off the tree for me 2 do that. it just makes this building look so naked, and vunerable... while covered it oozes sexy-ness and mystery.

X's and O's
Vanessa

**Half Naked Spartans, Lamb Shanks & an Erotic Novel**

what a combonation

Finally went to see that movie.
on the Imax screen. so things were big. hello male skin pores!
it was a hell of a lot better than i thought it was going to be
the oracle at the start was abosoutly to die for.
and it needed more girl on girl kissing action
but yeah. no armor for the spartans 'i'm going to be man candy thanks very much!'
but all in all really good cinematography and shots and things.
i exspecially enjoyed the first slowed down battle scence
the stylizled blood was even too my liking
it was no sin city. but it was good.

work. 35 emails. in one day.
i hate being away
i'm losing the boss that is going to be replacing my current boss when she leaves on friday
is it something i said??
I'm really really sleepy and should be in bed.
but i wanted to write and say hello

donnie darko is now part of my DVD collection. Finally.
at a redicklous (sp) price though, it is INSANE what they sell CDs and DVDs for
$29.99. and that was the cheepest place i found it. i was almost going to buy it a couple of months ago for $39.99
i enquired about getting Emilie Autumn imported from the UK. $60.
i almost died.
then polietly said "thanks but no thanks"

picked up andrew and had beautiful pub food for tea
you gotta love old fashioned pub food
lamb shanks on mash
mmmmmm. tasty
went to borders to wait for our movie to start.
took two books from the erotica section, brought them with me to borders and read them while drinking my coffee. really wanted to leave a 'post secret' type note in the front saying. "i got turned on by..."chill" but didn't have a pen. oh well next time.
i hope an old lady sat down at our table and picked it up after me :)

**Dylan Moran**

follow the journey.

Just came back from his comedy show
It was fantastic
two hours of non stop laughter pretty much
kinda annoyed i paid $60 to sit on a plastic chair, while other people got fancy comfy red ones
Curse being in rows O-T
but all in all he was very funny
didn't have to say fuck every 5 seconds to make the audience crack a smile
heard some black book likes in there
"feel my brain falling away like a wet cake"
i watch too much TV.
but yeah.
if you didn't go you missed out on wicked Irishman!!
yay its friday :)

x's and o's
Vanessa

Duet under midnight sky

Duet under midnight sky (Guitar/Violin)

A song of heartache on a violin,
Heads turned towards the stars.
While Darkness doesn’t try to hide,
the Emotion ring around the flames.
Silhouettes sit pondering,
With Wanderlust in there eyes.
Together in body,
Some embraced, some across the warmth,
But each alone in spirit.
Wide minds far away with memories.
Soul windows are distant.
And few fill with salt flavoured rain.
A plucked guitar string slips into the melody,
As if to sat “you’re not on your own”
As this listen to this magical
Duet, under midnight sky

sunrises at midnight

I wasn't really looking forward to going out when i got home after grabbing my top, it was a beauty, gold and glitterly and reminded me of something that Anara wears on Fire Fly. But most of the people I invited and said that they were going to come... had canceled on me. Amie, Vic, Sam, Ray, and Sean. Sean was the reason i was going out in the first place. So i was feeling sad and loser-ish at 5:30 when i got the 5th of the reject texts.

i started freaking out cause andrew wasn't home at 6pm and we were suppose to be meeting people at like 6 at this bar called spudnix don't ask me about the name i wouldn't have a clue. finally got ready and headed out there. i had never been to this bar/pub before. it was odd. not really a bar that i'd usually hang out in. half a dozen pool tables. and where all my friends (from my old work) were sitting, the table was a surf board. yes a surf board. why? i don't know! its not like it was a surf-ie place or anything. it was a bar with pokie machines, and really ugly furniture. but the drinks were strong and the company good. Andrew was in a mood so he sat on the arm of a a really low black couch next to me sullen and sulky. i drunk and talked to Clarissa about life and music and work and spookers and how Stonned Tiffany was, that she came and went in about 10 minutes.

Played a game of pool with my old work mates, joinne, miti, clarissa and i. doubles. miti and i won by defult. i was the bad pool-er comic relif for the game. but my first shot was rather impressive. completly unintentionly i made the white ball jump, and it banged against a ball which went shooting off into a corner pocket. it was too bad it was a ball from the other team .

At about 8pm we left and headed over to the London bar, which is Andrew and i's usual watering hole, sat down to the sound of quiet jazz (not live as yet) and grabbed a drink each plus some beautiful tasting wedges. Andrew Cousin Melissa who i've never met before (she had just moved up from some little hick town at the bottom of the north Island) and her boyfriend joined us. Now i reconised the boyfriend. but couldn't place it. kept starring and was like "i know you from somewhere" turns out he went to my high school. a year above me. Knows Sunita (another one of my friends who was supposed to be comming to join us at about 10) the only real reason i remember him was because he was in a relationship with this girl from almost all of high school that i noticed him for. you know how theres a "couple" in every one of your years. well he was it in the year above me. but he seemed nice. hes a entomougist (i know i spelt that wrong!!) studying bugs at uni. Grissoms job from CSI. Melissa didn't seem anything like andrew describe. just phyically. she looked like one of thoses "i'm a bottle blond above you!" type people you abhore in high school. but she was a lovely lovely person. guess that teaches me to judge by looks.

Drinks were flowing. i stuck to my good old safe tequila sunrises. and ended up having about 6 or 7 of the leathal things over the course of the evening. the girl at the bar was from Liverpool on her OE over here, and made them nice and strong (once i told her how to make em!!) i ended up tipsy rather quickly. but it was nice tipsy. not want to go and dance and kiss everyone and make an idiot of myself, but just calm. open and slightly overtalkitive tipsy. my head is feeling it now though. not enough water. anyway we ended up sitting at the same table just talking for over 4 hours. it was good. nice to just talk and hang and chat. they have the same intrest in british comedy as andrew (and to a lesser extent me) and firefly. anyone who knows and enjoys flyfire goes up a step in the respect ladder for me.

pumpkin hour came and went and got a couple of texts from clarrissa (who was across the road still) and sunita. in my drunkness i replyed so the spelling is worse than normal!! both of them were supposed to show up over where we were, but they didn't but thats okay. We ended up leaving at about one, after the live jazz band had left an a silence in the bar. there music was loud. good. and very very jazzy. walked along the road, got given the evils by a pack of drunk and 12 year old looking emo goths. i hate it when they mix the lables. goth is goth. its victorian, frills, lace, dark, haunting. emo is emo. enough said. got delish chilli chips and cheese from wendys to take away. and flopped on our worn and comfy apartment couch to watch and eposide of fire fly.

it was a lovely night. one fo the best i had in a while.
i'm going to find my self some asprin, and some food, then go back to bed.

**fog**

I got off the bus this morning, and started walking down the hill towards my work, looking up I saw a wall of white just behind the market at the bottom of the hill, I could see any of the buildings, houses or the churches through the fog blanket. It was neat, haven’t seen a good fog for ages. I love idea of it, how it can hide things in plain sight, give the air a dampness which for some reason reminds me of swamps and old bookstores. I hear about the ‘mists on English moors’ from novels and films and would love to see if they are impressive as they make them out to bed.

Spent most of this morning till about 12:45 doing fire warden training. My boss isn’t here today and she was supposed to go on it. So I got to be the replacement. It was really interesting just to learn a little bit more about fire exstinshures and stuff like that. Bit scary too. We watched a DVD about a fire that broke out at a football club in England in March 1985. 5 minutes it took for an old modern grandstand to be engulfed in flames. 54 people died. Terrible. Made me a bit more aware about a few things too. Though however, because I lost half the day I’m behind in my work. I know it’s Friday and things can wait until Monday. I feel bad that I haven’t got anything done.

My lunch really isn’t agreeing with me at all today. I’ve had a light stomach ache all day. But now after eating lunch it’s really gotten worse. That’ll teach me for eating fish pie again I suppose. I guess it doesn’t help that I’m sitting at my desk drinking diet coke and snacking on Eskimo lollies, which are in my desk draw and they are soooooooo good!.... I have three standing on my desk, nothing but their legs left. One in each colour, trying to decide which flavour I like best…. At the moment I’m leaning towards the yellow flavoured ones, (cause they taste like those banana lollies of the same texture) but they red is coming a close second. See what happens when I’m left to my own devices (my boss is away ill, and her boss is in a day long meeting…) but yeah today is dragging and I’m just so tired and unmotivated this afternoon, I really hate losing half my day; I’m one of those people who are not a huge fan of change. So I guess that explains it.

Supposed to be going out tonight. No idea what to wear. Really not feeling excited about it right this second, hopefully once I finish work (in two hours… this day is just dragging on something terrible) I will change my mind. Might go out and treat myself to a new top. Can’t really afford it, but hey, who needs to eat right?

Oh and happy international star wars day… “May the 4th be with you!!” ha-ha. Terrible I know but I couldn’t help it. (Please don’t confuse this with other international days like ‘talk like a pirate day’ and international coffee day, as my friend did when I emailed her just now)

I started with the weather so I suppose it is fitting to end with it also. It has shaped up rather nice. The sun is out in force, it’s hot and warm. Am really looking forward to going home in it! Bring on 4pm