Song lyrics

It seems like every day’s the same
and I’m left to discover on my own
It seems like everything is gray and there’s no color to behold
They say it’s over and I’m fine again, yeah
Try to stay sober feels like I’m dying here

And I am aware now of how
everything’s gonna be fine one day
Too late, I’m in hell
I am prepared now, seems everyone’s gonna be fine
One day too late, just as well

I feel the dream in me expire
and there’s no one left to blame it on
I hear you label me a liar
‘cause I can’t seem to get this through
You say it’s over, I can sigh again, yeah
Why try to stay sober when I’m dying here

And I am aware now of how everything’s gonna be fine
one day Too late, I’m in hell
I am prepared now,
seems everyone’s gonna be fine
One day too late; just as well

And I’m not scared now.
I must assure you, you’re never gonna get away
And I’m not scared now.
And I’m not scared now. No…

I am aware now of how everything’s gonna be fine
one day
Too late, I’m in hell
I am prepared now
seems everyone’s gonna be fine
One day too late, just as well
I am prepared now, seems everything’s gonna be fine for me
For me; for myself.
For me, for me, for myself
For me, for me, for myself

This song has made me shed tears more than once in my life. most recently hearing it live coming from Shaun’s lips. But it’s been stuck in the back of my head ever since, running around over and over again, like a hamster on speed.

It seems like every day’s the same - wake up. Work. Think how much I hate work. Go home. Eat. Shower. Sleep. Wake up. Repeat

It seems like everything is gray and there’s no colour to behold - I want to know the exact moment i realised that we are all destined to die. Morbid and pathetically emo as it sounds its true. We exist. We work to keep ourselves and others existing. we reproduce. We die. Sure some of us may do great things and change little pieces of the world. Some of us may be here to witness those things, but in 10,000 years from now are they going to remember. In our next life, are they going to matter?

Try to stay sober feels like I’m dying here - I’m not an alcoholic but there is times (and not 6pm with the evening meal) that I could really use a drink. Or something stronger

And I am aware now of how everything’s gonna be fine - I suppose, these feelings too shall pass

One day
Too late
I’m in hell.

*karma ran over my dogma*

i was going to write a profound and somewhat immature and pissed off entry about how much of an unfair wench Karma has been to me this weekend, but putting pen to paper (or rather fingers to keyboard) I have no energy. Let’s just say karma has totally twisted in her/his choices of who deserves what kind of luck in life– I don’t think I’m a bad person, I haven’t sacrificed any small animals or committed any major sins lately, I don’t quite get why me of all people get kicked in the butt... :(

I’m moving out. I leave the flat on the 22nd. I applied for a design and visual arts course at Unitec starting Feb. 09. I applied for *gulp* another student loan. I’ve began packing my life into boxes. Will I regret these lifestyle changes. Maybe? But I won’t know unless I do them.